SEXY WORK LADIES

Dear People that Leave Lipstick on Cups,
I think it's just great that you're sexy
The workplace is a great place to meet hot, elligible bachelors.
You never know when and where love will strike, and we do have two, young single men here at the office to impress.
I am saying this because I do not begrudge you wearing your lipstick in the office.
You need to trap a mans and I realize that.
My humble, and decidely un-sexy request is only this:
You know you wear lipstick to work and you've seen what it leaves behind on cups and mugs.
So, maybe you could just wipe that off at the end of the day when you've finished using your vessel for liquids?
I mean, scientifically speaking, it will never come off in the dish washer - it's a wax-based item. This isn't an oil and water not mixing without a base like soap issue.
This is a wax on ceramics and plastics issue
I shall not delve further, because I recongnize the un-sexiness of this topic.
So, to sum up: Fuck off and clean up after yourself.
Thanks,
Doudy Old Emily

CHECK 'EM OUT!

my lovely lady nuts
check 'em out!

"you're going to get folks drunk on your lady nuts"

check 'em out!
where was I when they were writing that song?
it's just so lyrically challenging
I mean, spending all your time and money on me because you like my lumps? It's almost spiritual.

"Are you sure that's the word for it?"

uhm
it's like an epiphany - previous to the release of that song, I was unclear that my body parts, henceforth known as 'lumps' could be so beneficial in my pursuit of companionship and material possessions
check 'em out!

"Also, That song makes me want to kill"

would you say it's gonna make you scream make you scream?

"It's gonna make me do something"

it's it gonna make you spend all your money?
I don't know what's worse
the actual music
or the lyrics
Dear Sarah Furgeson, or however your last name is spelled.
It has come to my attention that you have assisted in setting back women's rights another 20 years.
Thank you for taking the admitted five minutes to put pen to paper and 'compose' a song about your humps, and how without them, you would not have material possessions. I realize, "my brains, my brains, my lovely lady brains," or "my lovely sheer will and determination to earn an equal wage," doesn't rhyme as well.
Kudos to you for finding 'the hook'
My song would have paled in comparison.

"Agreed, and it's Stacy Furgeson"

Oh
right
The other talks about weight loss
hahaha
an equally important women's issue

"Oh yes, for all women to constantly think about"

exactly
if you don't think about it, you're fat

"Which is always bad"

fat chicks = unhappy chicks
check 'em out!